You Do You takes on the biggest dating taboo: Cheating

This week’s episode features a special guest, renowned relationship therapist, Dr. Tammy Nelson. Dr. Nelson is an expert on why people cheat, and how to prevent it. As always, you’ll have to listen to the entire episode for all the details; however, here are some things we at You Do You want you to know about infidelity.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Cheating On Someone Doesn’t Make You Evil

Is infidelity a good thing? No. Any time you violate the terms of a relationship agreement (the rules you and your partner agree govern your union), you’ve betrayed your significant other. However, is that betrayal indicative of your entire character? Not necessarily. Statistics vary on how common cheating is. Some sources we’ve read argue as many as 70% of marriages are affected by infidelity at some point. What does that mean? Well, unless you’re John Hobbes, you probably don’t believe 70% of people are evil. Cheating is admittedly a mistake; however, stepping out on someone doesn’t mean you’re the scum of the earth. Ditto if your partner is unfaithful. From social workers to Instagram models, plenty of upstanding citizens have been unfaithful.

 

You Don’t Have To End A Relationship On Account of infidelity

There’s a stigma attached to staying with a cheating partner. The popular perception is that only pushovers stay with unfaithful lovers. But is that true? Relationships are about what’s best for you. You don’t have to leave an entire relationship because of a single misstep. So if you and a significant other find a way forward, don’t feel ashamed of remaining in a relationship that makes you happy.

 

Stop Hating On The Other Women

Few people are as vilified as the so-called “other woman.” She’s the femme fatale who breaks up heteronormative relationships by seducing men folk until they abandon their wives. Or is she? The Other Woman isn’t the one who made marriage vows, and yet she’s often scapegoated. Well, that’s sexist bullsh-t, and it lets straight dudes off the hook for their mistakes! No one forces someone else to cheat. It’s time to accept the “other woman” is not the real problem.

Keep up with Sarah and Kaley through their twitter accounts (@sarahsahagian and @kaleyames) and catch up on all the awesome You do You episodes below!
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Sarah Sahagian

Sarah Sahagian

Sarah Sahagian is a feminist writer based in Toronto. Her byline has appeared in such publications as Elle Canada, Flare, Bitch Media, The Toronto Star, and The National Post. She is also the co-host of You Do You: A Dating Podcast. Sarah holds a master’s degree in Gender Studies from The London School of Economics. You can find her on Twitter, where she posts about politics and live-tweets The Bachelor