For years, I bought into the myth that living alone was something to fear. That it meant loneliness, or worse, some kind of personal failure. Our society tends to romanticize cohabitation—be it roommates, relationships, or families under one roof. Living alone? That’s often portrayed as a liminal state between lives, a pause before the “real” part starts.
But here’s the truth: living alone can be really great. Like, life-changingly great. It’s not about isolation—it’s about independence. About understanding yourself in ways that aren’t always possible when you’re constantly navigating around others. And if you’re someone who’s ever considered taking the plunge but hesitated, let this be your sign.
This is real talk about what it’s like to live alone—and actually like it.
The Myth of Loneliness
Let’s address the elephant in the room: loneliness. Yes, it can be real. There are quiet nights that stretch longer than you’d like, especially in the beginning. There’s no one to debrief with after a rough day, or to share the weird thing that happened at the grocery store. And if you’re sick? You’re dragging yourself to the pharmacy solo.
But what people often misunderstand is the difference between being alone and being lonely. Living alone doesn’t make you lonely—it just gives you the space to notice when you are. And in that space, you learn to respond differently. Instead of distracting yourself with noise, roommates, or a constant stream of texts, you get to ask: What do I need right now? A FaceTime with a friend? A walk? A night out?
You learn to become emotionally self-sufficient, without becoming emotionally isolated. It’s a powerful shift. You stop outsourcing your emotional well-being and start building it from the inside out.
Your Space, Your Rules
One of the greatest joys of living alone is this: you are the boss of your space.
That might sound trivial until you realize how rare that feeling is. When you live with others, everything is a negotiation—from what’s for dinner to where the furniture goes to what volume the TV can be at. Living alone means freedom: to decorate however you like, to leave dishes in the sink (or not), to play music without headphones, or to walk around in nothing but socks. The space becomes an extension of you.
Suddenly, you’re free to shape an environment that supports your wellbeing in every possible way. Want a meditation corner with a salt lamp and velvet cushions? Do it. Do you feel like painting an entire wall black and putting up neon signs? No one’s stopping you. Your home becomes your sanctuary, your workshop, your refuge—and that’s not something to take for granted.
Routines Without Compromise
Living alone gives you complete control over your routines, without compromise.
You get up when you want. You go to bed when you’re ready. You don’t have to factor in someone else’s work schedule, social habits, or sleep needs. This may not sound like a significant issue, but the cumulative impact on your mental health and energy levels is substantial.
There’s no waiting for the shower, no sharing the fridge, no navigating someone else’s clutter. You learn how you actually like to live. What type of lighting feels most suitable in the morning? What time do you naturally wake up? What you want your wind-down routine to look like.
These are things that often get muddled when we’re always accommodating others. Living alone gives you clarity. You’re not reacting to someone else’s rhythm—you’re finally finding your own.
Financial Reality Check
Let’s be real: living alone can be expensive.
You shoulder the rent or mortgage yourself. You pay the bills. You stock the fridge. There’s no one to split the internet or the streaming services with (unless you’re still mooching off your ex’s Netflix—no judgment). For some, that can be a serious barrier.
But here’s the flip side: when you live alone, you become a financial grown-up fast. You start budgeting. You learn the real cost of your lifestyle. You decide what matters to you—and what doesn’t. That’s a skill that pays dividends, even if it stings in the short term.
And if you’re in a place where you can afford it? Consider it an investment in your personal growth, your peace, and your sanity. Because that’s what it is.
Unexpected Confidence Boost
One of the most surprising parts of living alone is how much it boosts your confidence.
You fix things yourself (or at least Google how). You kill your own spiders. You make decisions, deal with problems, and create joy—all on your own. And every time you do, you prove to yourself that you’re capable.
There’s something deeply empowering about knowing you can build a life you love without needing anyone else to validate it. It’s not that you don’t want companionship—it’s that you don’t need it to feel whole.
You stop settling for situations, friendships, or relationships that don’t serve you. Why? Because you already know how good it feels to just be with yourself.
The Sacredness of Solitude
In a noisy world, solitude is sacred.
We’re constantly bombarded with notifications, opinions, and conversations. When you live alone, you get to unplug from all of it. You can have entire days of silence, or fill your home with the sound of your choosing. You can write, dance, rest, create—without interruption.
That kind of solitude creates mental space. You start thinking more clearly. You connect the dots between ideas. You rediscover old hobbies or pick up new ones. You come home to yourself.
It’s not about being antisocial. It’s about finding a rhythm where your mind and heart can breathe.
The Downside (Yes, There Is One)
Of course, living alone isn’t perfect. There are downsides.
Sometimes, you’ll miss the warmth of shared meals. Sometimes, you’ll wish someone else could take out the trash or remind you to water your plants. There are moments when you’ll feel the weight of your own company a little too heavily.
And then there’s the fact that our society isn’t always built to support solo living. From real estate (hello, one-bedrooms that cost more than three-bedroom houses in the suburbs) to social expectations, solo dwellers are often left out of the conversation.
But even with the challenges, the benefits outweigh the costs, for many, at least. And once you’ve tasted the freedom and clarity that comes from living alone, it’s hard to imagine giving it up lightly.
Final Thoughts: It’s Not a Phase
People will sometimes ask, “So, how long do you plan to live alone?” As if it’s a pit stop on the way to something else—marriage, roommates, children.
But living alone doesn’t have to be a phase. For some, it’s a long-term lifestyle choice. For others, it’s a temporary but transformational chapter. Either way, it’s valid.
If you’re living alone now and loving it? Embrace that. If you’re considering it but feel nervous? Know this: it’s not selfish. It’s not sad. It’s not a red flag.
It’s a bold, beautiful declaration that your own company is enough. That your space, your voice, your rhythm—matter. And that sometimes, the best relationship you can have is the one you build with yourself.
markmunroe