Although more Canadians are happy with their love or sex lives, 41% of men and women say that their love or sex lives leave more to be desired, as shown by the results of an Ipsos poll done on behalf of Global News. Everyone wants to have a better sex life that’s safe and empowering. Here’s how you can ignite things between the sheets.
Photo by Dainis Graveris
The most important factor to satisfying sex life is communication. Intimacy starts outside the bedroom, and in most ways, your sex life is affected by other areas in your life. When there is open communication and partners have shared intellectually, emotionally, and socially, the step towards sex happens more naturally. It’s also essential to talk about the sexual experience itself. Most people aren’t comfortable talking about sex, but a conversation about what gives you pleasure and what fulfils both of you will improve the physical act. It’s a skill that can be learned, and it gets better the more you do it.
Education is another key element to fuller sex life. Most people read self-help books or articles on how to lose weight or improve finances. Why not read a self-help book that can help you learn new positions, find out which are the less known erogenous zones, or discover what non-ejaculatory male orgasms are? Read books or go online to search for articles. This is especially helpful if there are physiological issues that are affecting you and/or your partner.
Spicing It Up
Add toys to your repertoire. Contrary to the misconception that toys are only used when one is dissatisfied with their partner, toys can enhance physical pleasure, boosting sexual satisfaction. Molly Adler, director of Sex Therapy NM and co-founder of Self Serve, recommends that instead of going for what’s popular, choose toys that are “intuitively exciting for you.”
As you perfect the skill of talking about sex, one topic that may certainly arise is fantasies. Why not act on one of those fantasies and role-play? It goes without saying that it has to be consensual for it to work, and limitations and safe words are laid out. Role-play gives you a chance to seduce each other while in different characters. Role-play can help you conquer inhibitions. You won’t feel judged because it’s the character that’s “doing” things and not you. Costumes and props can also jazz it up a notch higher.
If what your partner is doing feels delightful and satisfying, say so. Verbalising what you feel intensifies the whole experience, and as a bonus, your partner gets to know what excites you. Sometimes feedback doesn’t have to be in words. Pleasurable moans and gratifying sighs can do the trick. Mixing them up is even better.
There is no limit to what you can do to have an outstanding sex life when you have open communication. The more you converse, the both of you will feel safer and more secure. This will lead to more fun explorations in the bedroom or maybe even outside of it.