5 Ground Rules for Reconciling with an Ex

After breaking up with someone you’ve been with for a long time, you may start having regrets about ending the relationship. If your ex is having the same thoughts, then you may wish to reconcile.

Before jumping back into a relationship with an ex, you need to talk about the past so that you can move on from it. Here are five ways to put that past behind you and start dating your ex again.


Don’t Consider it a New Relationship

Although it may be tempting to wipe the slate clean and treat the reconciliation as a new relationship, you shouldn’t do it. You have a history with each other with some great memories. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be trying to date an ex again.

It’s essential to build on the past relationship instead of trying to ignore it. You need to acknowledge the past, own up to the mistakes made, and strive to do better.


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Don’t Use the Past as a Weapon

Everyone makes mistakes, and if you are not willing to leave them in the past, you shouldn’t be trying to get back together with an ex. Don’t hang on to past hurts but try to talk them out with your ex before giving a relationship another shot.

Be honest about your feelings at the time and any lingering hurt you still feel. If you cannot get past the issues that lead to breaking up, then you both should rethink the idea of getting back together. However, if you can talk out the problems, then you can build a better relationship.


Communicate Honestly

Many relationships break up because many people are bad at communicating with each other. They try to ignore the problems they have or internalize them, which only leads to resenting the other person. If you’re going to start dating an ex, you should both vow to improve your communication skills.

Be honest with each other when something is bothering you or if you feel that your partner is holding something back. Although being honest could lead to a fight, it is far better than assuming the worst of the person you care about. Improving communication can help get an ex back permanently.


Be Open About Time Apart

Although you shouldn’t need to apologise for anything you did while being apart from your ex, don’t hide it either. Be willing to answer questions unless they are too personal. If you dated someone else, be honest about it, but don’t go into detail.

Your ex doesn’t need to know every detail about your life when you were split up. If they have an issue with it, you need to find out why, as it could be jealousy and nothing more. Don’t be shy about keeping intimate details private as they are not anyone’s business but yours.


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Inform Friends and Family

If you and your ex decide to give dating another shot, don’t hide it from the people closest to you. While not everyone will be happy, it is your life and decision to take an ex back into your life.

Respect them enough to let them know about the reconciliation and ask them to respect you when your ex is around and keep their opinions to themselves. Your family may accept it or be opposed, or they may suggest getting a bit of professional help to start again on the right track.

You can check the listings in your area or see what services may be available to you online. In some cases, it may be worthwhile to seek professional help. Either way, asking for help from someone with the tools is always a good idea.


Following these five ground rules can help get back with an ex easier to do and give your relationship a chance to grow into something long-lasting, and if you need a little more help, don’t be afraid to ask.



Mark Munroe is the Creator and EIC of ADDICTED. He's ADDICTED to great travel, amazing food, better grooming & probably a whole lot more!