When you first got together with your spouse, you could probably think of a million and one ways to sweep them off their feet. But now that you’ve been together for a while, your ideas are coming to a staggering halt.
Romancing your spouse isn’t as easy at it looks in the movies. What’s romantic to one person may not be the idea of someone else’s grand romantic gestures. So, how can you show your spouse you care without blowing it?
There are many ways to be romantic, both traditional and out of the box.
Whether you’re looking to wow with a romantic anniversary gift or are just trying to up your game and strengthen your relationship – we’ve got you covered. Here are 10 ways to make your relationship more romantic and reap the rewards.
“You look amazing!”
“You are so talented!”
“You are such a good cook!”
All of these sentences have something in common. They are compliments!
As couples, it’s natural for us to take one another for granted, even if we don’t mean to. This makes receiving compliments from our spouses feel incredibly special.
Relationships, where partners aren’t stingy with their compliments and commendation, are more likely to be happy. In fact, studies show that these couples experience greater commitment, relationship satisfaction, intimacy, and support for goal pursuits.
Research published by the Journal of Positive Psychology found that couples who reminisce on positive memories experience boosted self-esteem, lowered symptoms of depression, and increased life satisfaction. Yes, reminiscing can have a positive and therapeutic effect on your mood and your marriage.
Get to know your love language
Have you ever tried to be romantic only to have it blow up in your face or not get the reaction you were hoping for? The trouble is, you may have been projecting what you think is romantic to your partner without actually knowing how they perceive romance. This is where the 5 Love Languages comes into play.
It may sound like a stupid online test, but learning your partner’s love language can actually do wonders in helping you figure out exactly how to romance them.
Founded by Dr. Gary Chapman, relationship expert, the 5 Love Language test helps spouses learn what their priorities are when it comes to romance. Are you moved by:
- Acts of service (your spouse cooking dinner or shovelling the driveway for you)
- Words of affirmation – Verbalisations of love, receiving compliments
- Quality time – boosting your connection while being social with one another
- Physical touch – sex, intimacy, hugging, massages, holding hands and everything in-between
- Receiving gifts – Enjoying the surprise of receiving something special from your sweetheart
Once you know what your partner’s love language is, be sure to practice doing it! This will show them that you were really listening.
Taking a marriage course may not sound romantic, but what it can do for your relationship definitely is!
Marriage courses teach couples different communication techniques. Not only will this help resolve any potential arguments, but it can also be beneficial for building trust and enjoying a more satisfying sex life.
Communication has been closely associated with higher chance of orgasm in women as well as increased sexual and relationship satisfaction.
Laugh and play
When was the last time you and your sweetheart laughed together?
Sometimes romance isn’t about red roses and instrumental music. Sometimes it’s about sharing an intimate moment – like the moments you share when you make each other laugh.
Couples who laugh together report feeling more supported and satisfied in their marriage. They are also more likely to stay together, compared to couples who don’t make a regular practice of laughing.
Pay attention to your appearance
When you’ve been with your partner for an extended period of time, there’s a certain level of comfort that comes with that. It means you don’t have to dress up as much. In fact, if you wanted to you could probably wear your PJs all weekend and skip a shower or two and your spouse wouldn’t mind. But just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
Be romantic with your spouse by paying attention to your appearance. Make sure that your spouse still gets to experience you looking sexy, smelling great, and being confident. This is one of the sexiest and romantic things of all.
Focus on intimacy
If you’re hankering for romance, look no further than your own bedroom. Marriage courses highlight the importance of both emotional and physical intimacy in a relationship.
Kissing is incredibly romantic. It’s both alluring and innocent in the same breath. It also activates the brain’s reward system and makes us feel happier.
Sexual satisfaction predicts heightened emotional intimacy in couples. It also makes couples more likely to verbalize their love for one another.
Make time for dating
Each other, obviously!
While there is something to be said for your standby of cuddling in bed watching Netflix on a Friday night, a little variety is certain to add a little romance into your relationship.
SAGE Journals gave married couples random assignments. These assignments were either labelled as “pleasant” or “exciting.” The couples then engaged in these activities for 1.5 hours a week over the course of 10 weeks. Results found that those who engaged in the exciting activities experienced a spike in marital satisfaction and found their marriage more engaging.
Research shows that couples who enjoy a regular night out together enjoy deepen communication, view their marriage as more fun, and are less likely to get divorced.
Date night is also strongly linked to passion and excitement, such as the type of eros (or “puppy”) love experienced at the beginning of a new relationship.
Surprise each other
When is the last time that you surprised your spouse with a gift? Research suggests couples need a 3:1 ratio of happiness to succeed in marriage and coming home with a little surprise at the end of a long day is a great place to start.
Gifts do not have to be expensive to be meaningful. A $1 rose from the corner store, your spouse’s favourite chocolate bar, or a bottle of champagne for no reason are all sweet and simple ways to remind your spouse that you care.
Put your phone away
One sure-fire way to set the mood for romance is by putting your phone away! Ignoring your partner via playing on your phone has been closely linked to a decline in relationship satisfaction.
The next time you’re trying to be romantic, be sure to turn your ringer off and make sure nothing gets in the way of spending quality time with your partner.
Marriage courses can help deepen your connection to your spouse and teach you valuable lessons about romance. In order to sweep your partner off their feet, be sure to focus on intimacy, give compliments freely, spend quality time together, and get to know each other’s love language. And for goodness’ sake – don’t forget your manners!