Getting back on the dating scene after a drought or a breakup can be intimidating and a little scary, to say the least. Whether it’s been a few months or a year, the thought of putting yourself out there again can make you feel vulnerable, like re-opening an already-healed wound. This is especially so if you’ve overcome a bad breakup. But as they say, time heals all wounds, and we know that can be very true.
Stepping back into dating, you’ll more than likely experience many emotions. While you might be excited to meet new people and get to know their different personalities, you may also be nervous for those exact same reasons. You’ll probably also have a lot of thoughts and questions running through your head, such as, “what will I wear?” or “what will we talk about?” Just the idea of having to start over, getting to know someone and putting your best foot forward again is enough to make even the most seasoned dater anxious, but in order to get another chance at love, you’re going to have to put yourself out there at some point.
Dating can be fickle sometimes. We’ve all been on a date that we thought went well, only to never hear from them again. Ghosting is a harsh reality of modern dating, and you would do well to prepare yourself for it mentally. By that same token, you not only need to anticipate rejection, but you also need to accept that you’re going to reject others as well. Not every date will be a match, and when you see that someone isn’t right for you, you’ll have to let them go, hopefully by kindly letting them know.
In the world of dating, if you’re ready to find love again, there are a few things you need to do first. In putting yourself out there, the sooner you accept rejection, whether you’re rejecting someone or they’re rejecting you, the better your dating life will be. It’s not going to be easy, either way, you look at it, but it is something that you should mentally prepare yourself for and can be full of fun moments along the way or, at the very least, some great stories about the ones that didn’t go so well. That’s the thing about putting yourself out there; you have to prepare yourself for the good and the bad before doing it.
Tips for Preparing Yourself to Accept Love Again
Leave the Past in the Past
In order for you to even put yourself out to go on a date, let alone accept love from someone new, you have to let go of the past. Yes, this is easier said than done, but it’s something you must do in order for you to move forward in your love life. To be able to accept someone new in your life, you have to forgive yourself and others who may have caused you any hurt or pain. Let your healing from that pain be your motivation to grow. Experiencing challenging life hurdles (like big breakups) is often hard to let go of but can not only make us stronger but also teach us better what we need for next time.
Fix Yourself Up
Here’s the thing, I personally think that when you look your best (to yourself), it helps you also feel your best, and when it comes to dating, especially in the early days, it is a great idea to put your best foot forward, and that means inside and out.
Get a haircut, pamper yourself, maybe even buy some new clothes, whatever works best to have you looking and feeling your best so when you are ready to get back into dating, you feel like the best version of yourself that you can be.
Loving yourself might sound like something that should come off as common sense to some people, but you’d be surprised at how many people don’t realize the importance of self-love. Medical News Today states that self-love is one of the key factors in lowering depression and anxiety and that not expressing this to yourself can lead to the mindset of perfectionism, which is very toxic to your mental health.
Showing yourself self-love can come in many forms, but ideally, it’s a mentality you have toward yourself. You have to love yourself before you can love someone else; your mental and emotional space just can’t handle it otherwise. Tell yourself that you love yourself every day, and it will eventually sink in, through repeated actions, like making sure you eat healthily, sleep well, take time to rest and relax, and stay connected with people you love, just to name a few things.
Be Real With Yourself and True to Yourself
In the world of dating, you have to be real and true to yourself. The majority of people you date probably won’t have the same intentions as you, and it’s important to accept that upfront. Establish within yourself what you want from dating and, ultimately, from a partner and stick with it; don’t let someone else’s needs and wants in dating sway what you want. Don’t settle for less; keep dating until you find someone who wants the same thing as you, shares your values and makes your life better by being part of it.