Are all celebrities sexual predators? Some days, it feels like it. Over the past couple of weeks, allegations of sexual assault have surfaced against everyone from D-list comedian Chris D’Elia to A-listers like Ansel Elgort and Justin Bieber. So, how do we deal with our problematic favourites? Well, the answer isn’t to harass their accusers on the Internet…
On this week’s You Do You, Kaley and I tackle how to process the downfall of our heroes. It can take a huge toll on us when our idols fall from grace, but it’s vital to keep the victims – and not our own feelings – front and centre. Here’s a little preview of our advice!
This week, You Do You: A Dating Podcast discussed how to react when your heroes are accused of sexual misconduct. It can be tempting to bury your head in the sand, but what does that do to survivors? Kaley and Sarah address all your concerns head on!
Don’t Assume The Allegations Are a Lie
Perhaps you’ve been an Ansel Elgort fan since 2014, when he romanced Shailene Woodley in The Fault In Our Stars. It’s sad when our fantasy boyfriends don’t live up to our fantastical notions of what they must be like. However, that doesn’t mean you should assume he’s pristine, or that the accusations are unfounded.
The current research tells us as few as 5% of rape accusations are false. Now, that doesn’t mean we should convict and sentence celebs who are accused of sexual misconduct without trial. Of course due process is an important part of the law. However, there’s no reason to take to Twitter to declare your favourite couldn’t possibly be guilty. The stats show you’ll rarely go wrong believing survivors, so please don’t drag them on the Internet. All that abuse does is discourage other survivors from coming forward.
Remember It’s Not About You
It’s tempting to sulk when our heroes prove less than heroic. Disillusionment is an icky feeling. But put things in perspective: Even if you have a hard week because Chris D’Elia’s comedy is now forever tainted for you, remind survivors of sexual misconduct are probably suffering more…
You Can Find New Heroes
Before I learned about his true nature, I was – this is embarrassing – a fan of Jian Ghomeshi. While it pains me to admit it, there were times his show was a high point in my day. But you know what happened when the accusations surfaced and his CBC show was cancelled? I found other – and better – podcasts to consume. No one is talented enough to deserve a free pass where sexual abuse is concerned. Your new favourite talk show host/musician/actor/author/athlete is out there. Stop clinging to the past and find new people whose work you can support.