This week’s episode is dedicated to the great Ariana Grande, who penned the best breakup anthem of all time, “Thank U, Next.” In this iconic song, Ms. Grande demonstrates that we learn from failed relationships. This week, Kaley and I discuss the silver linings of lost love, and what we can learn from our exes. Enjoy!
Breakups Make Great Case Studies
A breakup isn’t a liability, it’s an asset. Breakups make fantastic case studies to discuss with one’s therapist. If you’re not sure how to make the next relationship successful, you could start by dissecting patterns about where the previous ones went wrong. Perhaps you have a pattern where you’re always the one doing the nurturing, which burns you out. Or maybe you’re not a great communicator and never return text messages in a timely fashion? When you have a large sample size of breakups to analyse, it’s easier to identify trends. So rather than feeling embarrassed about your string of failed relationships, be grateful for the fodder to analyse with your shrink.
You Might Not Want What You Think You Want
In my twenties, I was under the impression I could only make a relationship work with someone who was exactly like me. And I do mean exactly. I automatically disqualified potential partners who didn’t have identical interests. You know what that got me? Well, a series of exes who were good people, but not good for me. In my thirties, I realized compatibility has a lot more to do with common values and complementary personalities than a shared love of Mad Men and sushi. In fact, the men I eventually married doesn’t watch Mad Men AT ALL. But you know what matters more than Netflix preferences? Bringing out the best in each other! Sharing similar financial goals! Agreeing on whether you want kids, and wanting to live in the same part of the world! Add in a healthy dose of physical attraction, and you’re golden!
Never Settle For Someone Who’s Mean To You
Here’s more proof that heterosexual dating is a dumpster fire: Little girls are socialized to believe that a boy who pulls your hair on the playground is secretly in love with them. Spoiler Alert: he’s not. And if he is, there’s a chance he’ll be into domestic violence, which is horrifying. Guys who like you should never neg you (that’s Pickup Artist Speak for insulting a woman until she sleeps with you), forget to text you for days on end, or call you needy when you call them out for taxing five days to text. If you’re a straight woman, don’t settle for dudes who mistreat you. They’ll never change, and you deserve better…