Addicted to Love? Why I’m Gracefully Stepping Away From The Dating World

If this seems like an outrageous statement, let me explain myself: I’m really really really bad at dating. No, but actually. I’m an excellent girlfriend: I actually pride myself on how great of a girlfriend I can be. However, it’s the getting to the boyfriend/girlfriend stage that is an enormous problem for me, and it’s that aspect alone that I’m giving up on.

If you know me, I know you’re thinking “Yeah ok, Alex.” And I don’t blame you. I’m a hopeless romantic that is absolutely boy-crazy. I often have at least three boys on the go at any given time: I like going on dates, I like cute texts, and I like attention from attractive guys. Who doesn’t? My downfall is how fast and hard I fall for these people, and since I date emotionally barren boys almost exclusively, this method doesn’t typically work for me.

I wish I could be that cool, aloof girl who doesn’t care one way or another how a crush turns out. However, I’m 25 years old, and have come to terms with the fact that I’m simply not that girl (at least not yet).  I feel what I feel when I feel it, and I can’t do anything about that. But unfortunately for me, this never flies with the boys I’m typically attracted to. It seems that for our generation you can only make things work if you withdraw from the situation emotionally, and I’m sorry, but I simply cannot do that. I was born in the wrong era (dating-wise, anyway). I’m not interested in playing games; I’m not interested in stupid rules – only being allowed to text at certain times, only being able to see each other at certain times, only being allowed to say certain things. I’m graciously throwing in the towel. My heart hurts, and I can’t do it anymore.

Another factor shaping my decision-making process is the realization that the easiest way to avoid relationship problems is by simply not being in one. Although it sucks to come to terms with someone exiting your life, I sleep a lot better knowing I now have one less problem to deal with. Every time a friend comes to me with their relationship issues, I happily listen, don’t judge, and offer sound advice. But once they leave my apartment I shut my door, breath a sigh of relief and say to myself “glad that’s not me.”

Call me cynical, or dramatic, or whatever. I just don’t think the fairy-tale romances we were promised as children have a high probability of working, or happening at all. To all the happy couples out there, I wish you the best. To all the attractive boys out there, bring it on.

I just ain’t no wifey.

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Alex Payne

Alex Payne

Contributor at Addicted
Alex Payne is a writer/editor/blogger living in Toronto, and a complete pop culture junkie, writing about music, dating, and whatever else she wants to rant about. She's obsessed with cupcakes, Kate Spade and The Simpsons. Oh, and vodka.
Alex Payne