There is no mathematical formula to confirm with absolute certainty whether a person has feelings for another human being. If such a thing existed, it would have made the dating game a lot easier and a lot more predictable. The major part of what makes dating exciting is the fact that you never really know if the other person is into you, and the cat-and-mouse game that determines whether a genuine connection develops or not.
Men complain about not being able to read women’s “signals” and their true intentions right away. Still, the truth is that guys can be as enigmatic as girls when it comes to falling in love, especially in the initial stages of the relationship. Of course, every man is different, but generally speaking, men fall in love much faster than women, although it’s not necessarily for the same reasons.
According to relationship experts from Beyond Ages, the fundamental difference between men and women when it comes to feelings lies in our interpretation of physical intimacy and how it affects us. Women (not all of them, mind you) need to feel a deep connection to go to bed, whereas men throughout history have been more frivolous in these matters.
So what can really make a man fall in love? How can you know for sure that he fell for you? While you won’t find a definitive answer here (or anywhere else on the internet, for that matter), this article will expand your understanding of how men approach relationships.
Photo by Maksim Goncharenok
Masculinity – is it as Fragile as We Think?
The short answer to that question is yes, of course, it is. If you look into it, however, it is much more complicated. First of all, if masculinity is fragile, then femininity is too. We are all human, and one of our fundamental needs is to feel connected and appreciated by our significant others.
Men want to be certain that you accept them for their character and personality. One of the most obvious signs of an immature relationship is that one person desperately tries to mould the other party in their image of what the perfect partner should be. It’s the ultimate goal of the “bad boy” fantasy that many women have — to make a rebel fall in love with them and change their ways. That’s a surefire way to make him run for the hills. If you think you’re in love with a rebel, better be sure you love their rebellious nature as well, and not the idea of who he could be once you end up together.
A Future Together
Contrary to popular opinion, men aren’t heartless assholes, and they, too, are looking for someone to spend their life with. The openness to a long-term, stable relationship is something that can make a man fall in love with a woman. It is not a secret that men can be quite insecure, and if your partner senses that you’re not quite certain about your future together, he may feel like he is wasting his time with you.
This is also why it’s important to drop the mind games and cat-and-mouse routine after the first few dates. Sure, it can be sexy and playful at first, but nearly every man will quickly grow tired of a woman who doesn’t seem to be serious about him.
Men are not sex-crazed beasts, but it does not mean that physical intimacy doesn’t play a significant part in a guy’s life. Sexual compatibility is an important aspect of falling in love; there is no getting around that. It doesn’t mean that you should jump into bed with him on the first date! It’s more about the spark that appears between a man and a woman who are physically attracted to each other. There is no substitute for that, and even if you click on the emotional and intellectual levels, if you’re not compatible in the sex department, your love might not last all that long.
Be yourself! Sure, it’s a cliche that seems to scream at you from every billboard, TV show, and movie nowadays, but it doesn’t mean it’s not true. Especially when it comes to relationships. Pretending to be someone you’re not just to get a guy you’re crushing on to fall in love with you is not a good dating strategy. Not only is it dishonest, but it’s also one of the surest ways to get your heartbroken.
Men fall for the woman they see in front of them. If you start revealing the “real you,” and he catches onto it over the course of the relationship, he’ll feel cheated and will dump you without giving it a second thought.
There are some patterns and characteristic behaviours you can notice when men fall in love, but there is no magical way to know for certain. Things like sexual chemistry, honesty, and willingness to go the distance are among the most common traits that might get a man to fall for a woman, but it’s not a “love formula” that will ensure your relationship’s success.
Dating nowadays feels like a game of Minesweeper — it’s challenging to navigate between viable options, and we’re all striving for something that can help us find “the One” with absolute certainty. Life doesn’t work that way, though, and when a man falls for a woman, their love and connection over time are the only true giveaways of his true feelings.
Written by Maciej Grzymkowski – an avid traveller with a particular affinity for Southeast Asia. During my travels, I spend most of the time studying interpersonal relationships and how we, as humans, differ in our understanding and symbolism of love, hate, and everything in between.