Our #WCW this week is the incredible Leah Fay! She is a Toronto based artist and musician who co-fronts the band July Talk and makes radically feminist video and performance art with WIVES collective. She stars in Toronto indie film “Diamond Tongues” which is screening at the TIFF Lightbox August 7th to 13th. We asked Leah a few dating questions, so check it out while we discuss pool hopping and poutine.
What is the first thing that you notice about a potential love interest?
How my body reacts to them. I notice the effect of their pheromone first and then their specific peculiarities like the way they walk, scars they have or the fuzzy little hairs on their forehead. But usually the crushes I have on people develop completely unbeknownst to my brain. It’s a euphoric, jumpy stomach feeling followed by trying to talk to them and having no control over the dumb shit coming out of my mouth.
I’ve never been able to think of or pursue love/lust in a calculated way. So I guess “first moves” don’t really exist if you only know how to deal with attraction on a visceral level. If someone makes me excited, it’s impossible for me to suppress those feelings, so I just try to be the most essential version myself so that the person will either be like “Blech. No. I gotta go, yer weird.” or “Wow what! Yea! I totally want to dance on this table with you! How did you know?”
I don’t really actively seek out love or sex because it just doesn’t work that way for me. I tend to wait for people to enter my world, blow my mind, knock my on my ass and go from there. You can’t force these things, or at least I can’t. I think our bodies are our best judges when it comes to dating.
What is your ideal first date?
If all goes well, karaoke followed by pool hoping followed by poutine. I’m not a fan of small talk or niceties so anything that allows you to be unpalatable in front of each other is ideal. Nothing exposes someone’s human side quite like wailing on a mic to a poorly mixed karaoke song, attempting to climb a 9 foot fence in the dark while trying not to die and eating a poutine drenched in Sriracha. By the end of a night like that, you have a pretty good idea of whether or not you wanna see someone again.
What’s your instant deal breaker?
Haha. I’m not sure if we were on a date but once someone I was hanging out with told me they were “Too vain for poutine” and I was like GET OVER YOURSELF. Bad tippers and people who complain about wait staff also suck. And this has never happened to me but obviously if someone does something that instantly outs them as a shitty human (ie, makes racist, homophobic, sizest or ableist remarks) they can “suck it”. And call me old fashioned but if it’s a coffee or dinner date, do not put your cellular device on the table unless you plan on sprinkling it with sugar and shoving it down your throat as a cool party trick.
Who do you go to for dating advice?
My cat has good intuition, my bandmate Josh because he’s great at interpreting subtleties, and my best friends.
Photo Credit: http://fastforward-magazine.de