Three Tips For Awesomely Consensual Sex + PODCAST!

This week’s installment of You Do You is devoted to the sexiness of consensual sexuality. Because consent is super sexy.

*photo by Candice Waldeck

Don’t believe us? Well, our guest Samantha Bitty is a legendary sexual health educator. Miss Bitty will convince you once and for all that nothing is hotter than consent. Seriously, consent is hotter than Dev Patel, Chris Pine and Adam Glover, combined! Consent is hotter than flaming hot cheetos. It’s hotter than Palm Springs in July!

Below are some of our team’s best tips for how to embrace the “Consent Is Sexy Ethos.”


Be Transparent About The Sort of Relationship You’re Looking For

Part of consent is ensuring everyone knows what they’re consenting to…Yes, that can refer to individual acts in the bedroom. But it can also be applied to other things. One such area is the question of whether to see other people. No, two-timing someone is not the same thing as sexual assault, but “not raping” someone shouldn’t be your only consent-related concern. If you want to keep it casual, let a potential sexual partner know. It’s mean to start sleeping with someone you know wants something serious without explaining that you don’t.


Unsolicited Sexting Is a Sin

Sexting can be a healthy expression of sexuality. In the digital age, it has become de rigeur; however, unsolicited sexting is still a sin. Why? Because sexting, like an IRL sex act, should be fun for everyone. Because sending steamy words to a lover, make sure they’re welcome.

Can it be awkward to send a text asking, “Can I sext you?” Sometimes. But you know what’s far more awkward? Sending a picture of your genitalia to someone who doesn’t want to see it!


If You Have To Pressure Someone Into Sex, You Shouldn’t Be Having It

Asking a date multiple times if they’ll come up to your apartment? Hoping the answer will change? Guilting your spouse into certain sex acts because “all the other couples are doing it?” Nope! Just nope! Sexy time is not a debate; it’s not your place to persuade someone to do something that they’re not into. When a partner tells you no, believe them the first time.

Sarah Sahagian

Sarah Sahagian

Sarah Sahagian is a feminist writer based in Toronto. Her byline has appeared in such publications as Elle Canada, Flare, Bitch Media, The Toronto Star, and The National Post. She is also the co-host of You Do You: A Dating Podcast. Sarah holds a master’s degree in Gender Studies from The London School of Economics. You can find her on Twitter, where she posts about politics and live-tweets The Bachelor