The Rules of Summer: Flip Flops

It is a scientific fact that men are more season-jumpers than women. Okay maybe we made that up but it is true. At the first sign of the temperature rising, men seems to think it’s time to bust out the shorts. The air is warm, and after months of keeping their skin sheltered underneath layers upon layers, guys everywhere are shedding their clothes. Suns out, so it must be time to bring the guns out, right? Well, um yes if you have the ‘guns’. And while we think it’s a good idea to dispense of all those unnecessary layers and pray to the sun gods. We have one big warning: you absolutely cannot wear flip flops every damn place you please. The fact of the matter is that flip flops are not appropriate for all-day, all night, everyday, everywhere wear—even when it’s scorching hot out there.

There are many reasons we suggest you abide by these rules. Reason 1:  most guys’ feet aren’t attractive. Dudes just don’t get pedicures as often as they should. Some have never even considered getting a pedicure and yet think they can wear flip flops everywhere. No one wants to see nasty feet. Reason 2: most feet smell. And we ain’t talking stop and smell the roses. But if you are still holding fast to the idea that you can wear them anywhere you please and you don’t want to listen to us at Addicted, please listen style guru Tom Ford. In a 2011 interview with the good people at AnOther magazine, Ford decreed, “Flip-flops and shorts in the city are never appropriate.” While Ford may have been wrong about the shorts (hey, we all say silly things sometimes). He was right about flip flops. But flip flops do have their time and their place. So where can you wear them?

Places You Are Allowed Wear Flip Flops

  • On the beach.
  • To a pool (public or private).
  • In the shower at the gym.
  • In the locker room at the gym.

Places You Cannot Wear Flip Flops (Ever)

  • To work! Unless you work as a lifeguard at a public pool (that is the only exception).
  • Out to a Bar – be them your local watering hole or a swanky cocktail bar (the one exception: bars on the actual beach – the kind where sand gets between your toes)
  • On the sidewalk in the city.
  • On the non-sidewalks in the country.
  • Out to dinner.
  • On a date (unless you want this to be the last date ever).
  • Outdoor concerts (heck, even indoor concerts are a no no).
  • Any place that a suit is de rigueur. You cannot dress up sandals with a suit.
  • To a wedding (okay, at beach weddings you are allowed to wear sandals — but those are very, very different from a flip flop).
  • Any public bathroom (just stop and think about that for a moment – ewww).
  • Literally anywhere not on the allowed list.
Christian Dare
Christian Dare spent much of his formative years working in the fashion industry as a National Visual Manager before he turned his attention to writing. He currently writes for AmongMen, Complex and his own blog, Christian Dare Edited. You can find him online at www.christiandareedited.com or follow him on Twitter @christiandare but he is more fun on Instagram @christian_dare
Christian Dare

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