We’re back with another edition of Sarah’s 2 Sense with advice columnist Sarah Zaman. Sarah is a queer, Muslim university student, studying Global Health, Political Science, and Human Geography. She wanted to share her growing wisdom as a way to help people in little cheeky light-hearted ways. For her next column, Sarah gives her “2 sense” on making friends and gives some bonus advice as well. Check back every month for more 2 Sense with Sarah, and feel free to send your own questions to firstname.lastname@example.org!
What is the best way to make friends at university without the BS school clubs/residence life? – MF, 20
Thank you for this very real question, phrased in an even more real way. While to some degree, schools clubs and living on campus can help with garnering a social circle and friends it can seem almost fake. Listen, there is no real way in which to magically create friendships with people that you want. Believe me, I’ve tried to become friends with all the members of One Direction by making a wish every time the clock struck 11:11. Needless to say, I am not best friends with Harry Styles although; I do maintain that his song “Adore You” is about me.
As there is no cookie cutter way to make friends, I can advise you to maintain integrity in who you are. Never change the way you act around people in order for them to maybe like you a bit more, as well, do not suppress the way you act with people (as long as you are not causing harm, of course). Even little actions can go a long way. In fact, I became friends with someone very dear to me after they heard me yell in a lounge “I would call a guy daddy”. Do not let the incessant need to have a big group of friends overpower the type of people you have in your life. “Quality over quantity” is what I like to tell myself; it is better to have 2 extremely loyal and supportive best friends versus having 15 that you are semi-acquaintance with that you cannot really depend on for anything.
I hope you do find amazing friends who support you in the growth of becoming the person you were meant to be and if that doesn’t work out, you could always build an AI version of Harry Styles – I think the world may need it (he’s so beautiful, wow).
What’s your favourite topic to write about? – NY, 21
What a lovely personal question that I have no idea how to answer. If anything, I can share a bit more of my personal writing background and growth over the past few years and maybe a topic will surface from this moment of self-centered discussion.
I have always been interested in the idea of creating. I would actually create in any capacity, , including but not limited to: desserts made of straight dirt, creating prezi presentation about absolutely nothing, creating a life in which I am a wealthy women who only wear designer clothing and has never worked a day in her life (albeit, this purely imaginary but I am trying very hard to manifest it).
Writing was something that came very naturally in a creative realm. I began writing poems in my early teens about being angry even though I really did not have anything to be angry about but you know the teen angst. I got really into creating lives that weren’t real, creating people in these situations but in a much more visual way. This got me into screenwriting which has been a really great way to have a nice mix of factitious aspects of who the characters I create are but to draw their experiences from real life. Whether it is good or not is a whole different discussion, but I think I really like having the ability to create new worlds and people from personal experiences and creating the outcome I want. I highly recommend finding time in your schedule to write in any capacity, even in a journal. It can be amazing for opening up your perspective on the world!