This week’s episode is all about Minimum Input Boyfriends. Also known as Bare-Minimum Boyfriends, the MIB is the most puerile type of heterosexual male partner. He’s a rundown of everything you need to know about this abhorrent breed of straight male daters. You have officially been warned!
What Is A Minimum Input Boyfriend?
Obviously, not all straight dudes fall into this category. There are upstanding dudes out there, and you don’t even need to pay monthly feels to Match.com to find them! However, MIBs are distressingly common. A MIB is the kind of guy so immature, he feels entitled to a woman’s time, emotional labour, and physical affection. But does he reciprocate your efforts to please him? Probably not. He’ll likely never ask about your day, and he rarely pays for the takeout when you Netflix and Chill. You’ll have to foot the Uber Eats bills each time he wants to hang out on ninety minutes (or less) of notice.
How Do You Weed MIBs Out On Dating Apps?
We don’t normally peddle in stereotypes, but the MIB’s profile is definitionally thoughtless. It will probably include a bathroom selfie taken at a sports bar (urinals will feature heavily in the background). He may also include photos with other people’s dogs and an adorable baby he assures potential matches is “just his niece.” There’s a 76% chance his favourite movie is Bladerunner. His favourite date place is a pub that isn’t particularly good, but it’s located thirty seconds from his house.
What Kind of Women Do MIBs Typically Go For?
MIBs don’t have “a type,” per se. Rather, they thrive on this fact: the majority of women are socialized to be accommodating, caring and generous souls who give more than get in relationships. It’s not your fault if you’ve ended up in a few (or even a few dozen) relationships with MIBs. They’re drawn to you because your worst fault is being too kind.
What Should You Do If You’re Already Dating a Minimum Input Boyfriend?
Well, unless you like one-sided relationships with men who don’t care about your enjoyment or your emotional wellbeing, we recommended terminated relationships with MIBS as soon as possible. Don’t worry, you may not even need to have an actual breakup conversation. Just stop initiating conversations over text and there’s a one-in-three chance you’ll never hear from him again. He may wonder what happened to you, but don’t worry! It won’t occur to him to send a DM inquiring about your welfare.