You know when you see someone at a distance, and think, oh shoot, that person is hot, and then you get up close and realize you were totally wrong? Well we all are probably guilty of doing just that in while dating.
Ya, we all have, and that is the equivalent, to what we here at Addicted like call the “From a distance” dating. It’s similar to the perfect “on paper” relationship with fewer facts and more suspicions.
Ready, let’s begin…….
You start a new relationship and spend some time getting to know someone. If they make it past the first few dates you could still be thinking that they are really quite perfect, because still, really, you are at a distance.
Often somehow, our brains find a way to fill in the blanks. It makes up what we envision could be until proven otherwise. So until a fair amount of time passes, we really still aren’t able to see the whole picture.
Just like that sexy person at a distance that is just, well not so sexy up close, as you walk closer and closer the change from hot to not becomes more obvious. As you get further into a relationship, sometimes it seems like everything was much better until you walked closer.
I, like pretty much most people out there, still have hope. So when you see someone at a distance the flaws can’t be seen, the vision is not clear and thus things that can’t be seen can be imagined, but aren’t the flaws what make someone great, special, interesting? Yet we often still imagine instead of living in the reality.
And that is dangerous dating.
This danger shows itself online all the time nowadays. As someone who works in social media, some days I have to laugh at myself as people online all think that they know me. Most of us are guilty of this, and maybe, fortunately, they are seeing me at a distance, which online in a curated manner, I may seem way better than maybe I really am.
Up close, I’m flawed, but at a distance that can’t be seen, so fill the blanks and pretend I’m ____________.
So why have a totally gone off course?
Because I wanted to make a point, “at a distance” can be days, months or even years and until you really know someone, which can in fact sometimes take years, try not to fill in the blanks with might be, and try to learn and experience what will be.
As we grow older we should probably be able to stop filling in the blanks at a distance and just get close enough and hopefully get up close and personal, with the right person of course.