If you find yourself to be separated from your spouse as one or both of you feel the relationship is in trouble, or even completely broken down, then you need to think about how to approach your next steps very carefully and deliberately. Even if you feel that there is a chance of reconciliation it’s still a good idea to prepare for the worst. If you enter divorce proceedings less prepared than the other side it can end very badly for you.
Take Some Time For Yourself
Before launching into a full offensive on the divorce front, it’s important to take some time for yourself. It’s most likely that it is the first time in years you have had the opportunity to be yourself, do your own thing and reconnect with old friends. You are going to feel hurt and emotional and this will take its own time so let it take its course.
Assess Your Finances
Firstly, any divorce settlement isn’t coming for some time as even with fairly simple procedures it has to go through the courts. If you are relying on securing part of the marital assets to support yourself then you need to make sure you have thought of how to get by in the meantime. Who is going to stay in the marital home and who is going to pay for it? If you can come to a decision mutually then great, if not you may wish to consider mediation to come to an agreement. But if things are not decided then you need to consider if you need extra money if you don’t work then will you need a job?
Get A Handle On Your Ex Partner’s Assets
Long-term finances are a different matter as the finances of the marriage are considered marital assets. This includes physical assets, savings, investments, and even pensions. You may feel your ex is being upfront about what they have, however if you think that they are hiding anything at all then it may pay to engage the services of a private investigator.
Think Of The Children
Not all marriages involve children, but for those of them that do you need to take precautions to do everything humanly possible to make sure the children’s welfare and happiness are safeguarded as much as can be expected. Children may feel hurt, betrayed, confused and a little angry, so it could be a good idea to go to family counseling. This is not with the intent of getting mom and dad back together but to help the children work through their emotions and get through it. Custody as well needs to be addressed and again, it’s best to come to a mutual agreement, but if you can’t again mediation might help and, as a last resort, the courts may need to decide.
Look To The Future
It may seem like the end of the world at first and it’s, obviously, not how you planned life to be, but it’s a real chance at a fresh start to build a new life and create some happiness for yourself.