We’re back with another edition of Celebrity Dating Advice! This week we’ve got the wise words of singer/songwriter Bree Taylor.
Hailing from Toronto, Bree has been showing off her vocal stylings since she was just 6 years old. Trained by A-List Vocal Coach, Bob Garrett (Pavarotti, Audrey Hepburn, and Donna Summer), Bree hit the Canadian music scene with her first single and music video, “Broken Dreams” in September 2016. Now she’s back with her latest single “You Played it all”, a fun yet poignant tune about the trials and tribulations of dating as a straight female in a sea of confused manchildren.
I don’t know about you but I’m quite convinced of her dating advice qualifications after that tune! I’ll let her take it away:
My new single “You Played It All” is very much inspired by today’s dating scene where most men are in it for the chase and are playing games or don’t know what they want and they are hurting great women along the way.
I’ve done my share of dating and have been hurt countless times, but I have always found a silver lining in any given situation. I find that even through the heartbreaks, being able to find the positives is always the best way to move on. This is why the ultimate message in my song “You Played It All” is that yes, this guy played me, led me on and hurt me but boy did I dodge a bullet!
As a songwriter, channeling all of my emotions into a song is so therapeutic and is my way of being able to help other’s through their hard times not only by giving them an outlet through listening to my music but by being able to teach people vicariously through my bad experiences. I LOVE giving dating advice and sharing my stories and experiences in order to help other’s and do so occasionally on my YouTube channel as well.
So here are 4 types of men and the red flags to watch out for when you’re dating someone that could be a reason to get out before you get hurt.
- They’re a NARCISSIST
I could do an entire article about narcissists and I actually have a few videos planned about this topic for my YouTube channel as well as my upcoming podcast that I am starting called “Unapologetically Bree” but let’s touch on this a bit here.
A narcissistic person is the most dangerous type of person to be dating. Briefly, a narcissist is someone who is extremely self-involved, entitled, very grandiose, very superficial, always talking about themselves, doesn’t ask about you or your life and is lacking empathy.
They are most “players” – a very common and well-known guy in the dating field. Most players are narcissists, a guy who has several girls on speed dial for a booty call. They’re a “casual dater”, someone who wants all the perks without the commitment.
You NEED to stay away from these types of men. You CANNOT win with a narcissist – trust me. They will always make you feel like you did something wrong, like you are “crazy”, make you deny your reality, were at fault even if you weren’t. They are the most toxic personality type you will ever come across in the dating scene and I have unfortunately dated a few guys like this because they can be hard to spot and there are different types of narcissists.
I implore you to research this type of personality, women can also be very narcissistic btw, to inform yourself and be on the lookout for the traits that a narcissist has in order to try to avoid them at all costs. If someone you are dating is at all like this – get out ASAP because this will not end well for you, I promise – save yourself the heartache sooner than later.
- They have a Fear of Commitment
I have dated WAY too many of these men and can now call myself a pro on this topic. There are so many men who THINK they know what they want but they are really lost and confused and end up leading women on and playing games with our hearts. These guys shouldn’t be dating at all but for some reason they are out there and are wasting our time.
If a guy is unsure about what he is looking for in a partner or says he is looking for “something casual” – stay away. First red flag right there ladies! Don’t go thinking you can change a man or be the exception to the rule because you can’t.
If a guy isn’t over his ex, is on the rebound, won’t talk about a past relationship, makes bitter comments about his ex/last relationship – these are all red flags that the guy isn’t ready for something serious.
If a guy is telling you everything you want to hear and appears perfect on paper but has no follow through with his actions this is also a red flag. Usually these guys are: lost, confused, are inconsistent, flakey and they will bail on plans, easily forget or are the type of guy who won’t make any plans at all and just wants to “go with the flow”. You’re worth more than that – don’t settle.
These men often will lead you on, play the game and get what they want from you and then they’ll bail and find some kind of reason to end things and break your heart. Don’t invest your time into someone who won’t invest in you!
- Mr. Serious TOO Fast & TOO Soon
If a guy wants to get serious and jump into a relationship right away before really getting to know each other this is a red flag! I know this one can get past us ladies because we’re all excited that someone in a dating pool of players and guys with commitment issues who just want to sleep around ACTUALLY wants a relationship! But trust me, I’ve been there and it is NOT a good sign. There are a couple reasons why and I’ve been through them both.
1: They tell you everything you want to hear (very much like a narcissist, maybe he even is one) and they make you feel special and wanted. They almost sound too good to be true – well because they are! The guy most likely is doing this to several other women, not just you. He could and probably even does have an actual girlfriend and is cheating on her with not only you but dozens of other women. This is NOT someone you want to give your time and heart to – he will only break it.
2: They are trying to fill a void within themselves. They are probably recently out of a serious relationship or going through some kind of heartbreak and they want to fill that hole in their heart with you instead of taking the time to work on themselves and heal. This is only going to lead to disaster, trust me. These types of guys are NOT happy with themselves or over an ex and WILL end up hurting you.
Why rush something? Take your time. Get to know your partner. Let things grow naturally and develop into something on its own time.
- Never Enough
If you don’t feel like you can be completely yourself with someone you are dating this is a HUGE red flag. If the person you are dating makes you feel like you need to change, like you aren’t good enough or that you need to be anything other than your authentic self is NOT someone you should be with.
I have learned to pick up on these feelings very early on when I am dating someone because I have gone through enough in my life that I am not going to pretend to be anyone but myself in a relationship. If the person you’re dating can’t accept you for who you are, faults and all because yes – we all have them, then they aren’t worth YOUR time and energy.
If you’re feeling uncomfortable with them, like you need to be “on” all the time, that you have to walk on eggshells around them or with what you say and do – this is not okay. You shouldn’t be with a person who makes you feel like you are lesser than you are.
I have even had friends who have dated this type of man who actually makes them feel as though they need to LOOK a certain way. Dress a certain way, change their hair, that their bodies aren’t up to their partners “standards”. Their partner won’t take photos with them or post photos of them publicly acknowledging the relationship. These are also all red flags that this is NOT a healthy partner to be dating.
I could go on forever! This is a topic that I am very passionate about and love to talk about. Ultimately, we all go through hardships with dating and relationships and the bad, the hurt and all the pain teaches us something about ourselves, about what we want and don’t want and makes us stronger people and helps us grow as individuals.
Try to always see the silver lining in a bad situation because you may be going through a lot of hurt right now and have a broken heart, yes, you really thought this time it would work out, that this was your person – but you are probably dodging a major bullet in the long run.
The universe only gives us what we can handle, and everything is pushing us towards the next phase in our life. Trust and have faith that you are going through everything you are for a reason and will find happiness. Knowing these red flags will help you steer clear of men who are wrong for you and keep you from wasting your time and to give your time and energy to someone you actually deserves it. Know you are worth it!
Keep up with the amazing Bree Taylor through her website and socials below!