Bisexual Women Deserve Better + Podcast with guest Erin Bonner

Bisexual women get a raw deal in so many areas of life, especially when it comes to dating. They have to contend with bisexual erasure, a phenonanon that denies their very existence. When people do believe they’re bi, there’s also the constant risk of being fetishized while trying to date straight guys. It’s clear bi ladies deserve better!

This week, Kaley and Sarah sat down with Erin Bonner, a PR expert and LGBTQ rights activist who educates people on what it’s like to date as a bi lady. Erin explains the discrimination she experiences on dating apps and how flirting can get weird when she reveals her sexuality. You’ll have to listen to the podcast if you want a fulsome picture of Erin’s experiences; however, here are some pearls of wisdom to whet your appetite.

Bisexuals Are Not Destined To Cheat On You

There’s a prevailing misconception bisexuals are prone to cheating when in monogamous relationships. This flawed logic goes suggests that, if a bisexual woman is dating a dude, she’ll be lusting after ladies, and vice versa. Well, what kind of bunk is that? Whether you’re bi, gay, or straight, there are BILLIONS of people on this planet, and there’s a good chance you’ll be attracted to plenty of them. No matter what your sexuality, temptation is everway! Monogamy is a choice, and it’s one that takes work. When bisexual people make that choice, infidelity is not inevitable.

 

Stop Propositioning Bisexual Women For Threesomes

Yes, some bisexual women are into threesomes. However, can straight dudes stop propositioning them for threesomes the moment you learn their sexuality? If you’re a straight guy with an internet connection, statistics say you’ve probably watched pornography. A lot of that porn is filmed for and by men, defined by a male gaze that fetishizes queer women. However, bisexual women do not exist just to give you the threesome you’ve fantasized about since your family got wifi.

Sure, there are respectful ways to ask a bisexual partner about whether they’d be open to threesomes. However, the right time is rarely over appetizers on your first date

 

Remember, Bisexuals Are Queer Too

Bisexual people are frequently expected to defend their queer identities. If you’re a bisexual gal who shows up at a pride parade with your boyfriend, it’s not uncommonl to hear people doubt your queerness. Well, Erin wants everyone to know you don’t stop being bisexual just because you’re in a straight-passing relationship. No one’s identity should be defined by the person they’re dating, including bisexual folks’!

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Sarah Sahagian

Sarah Sahagian

Sarah Sahagian is a feminist writer based in Toronto. Her byline has appeared in such publications as Elle Canada, Flare, Bitch Media, The Toronto Star, and The National Post. She is also the co-host of You Do You: A Dating Podcast. Sarah holds a master’s degree in Gender Studies from The London School of Economics. You can find her on Twitter, where she posts about politics and live-tweets The Bachelor