Getting back on the dating scene after a drought or tough break up can be quite intimidating and a little scary to say the least. Whether it’s been a few months or close to a year, the thought of making yourself vulnerable again can make you feel like you’re re-opening an already healed wound only to make it bleed again, especially if you’ve overcome a bad break up. But, with time, all wounds heal and you will too.
In stepping back into the world of dating, you’ll experience so many emotions. For one, you’ll be excited to meet new people and experience different personalities but you’ll also be nervous for those exact same reasons. Secondly, you’ll have so many questions and thoughts running through your head like, “what will I wear?” or “what should I talk about?” Just the thought of having to start over in getting to know someone and putting your best foot forward all over again can make anyone anxious about dealing with it but in order to get another chance at love, you’re going to have to put yourself out there at some point.
Rejection: Putting Yourself Out There
Dating can be so fickle sometimes, you know? You’ll go on a date and think the date went well and then you’ll never hear from them again. Ghosting is a harsh reality of modern dating and it’s something you need to expect and prepare for. In that same token, you not only need to expect rejection but you also need to accept that you’re going to reject others as well. Not every date is going to be a match and when you see that someone isn’t right for you, you’re going to have to let them go.
In putting yourself out there, the sooner you accept rejection, whether you’re rejecting someone or they’re rejecting you, the better your dating life will be. It’s not going to be easy either way you look at it but it is something that if you mentally prepare yourself for, the blow won’t be as hard. And that’s the thing about putting yourself out there; you have to prepare yourself for it before doing it. In the world of dating, if you’re ready to find love again, there are a few things you need to do first.
Tips for Preparing Yourself to Accept Love Again
Leave the Past in the Past
In order for you to even put yourself out to go on a date, let alone accept love from someone new, you have to let go of the past. Yes, this is easier said than done but it’s something you must do in order for you to move forward in your love life. To be able to accept someone new in your life, you have to forgive yourself and others who may have caused you any hurt or pain. Let your healing from that pain be your motivation to grow. Experiencing hurt oftentimes turns you into a victim of your situation. Instead of accepting being the victim, become the hero of your story who overcame the hardest obstacles.
Fix Yourself Up
Okay, this is going to sound very superficial but let’s just take a moment to be brutally honest here; in the world of dating, it’s survival of the fittest and if you don’t look the part, you won’t survive. The reality of dating is that you’re selling yourself; If you want to grab the attention of someone, you have to look good, and that’s the honest truth.
So before you step onto the dating scene, you want to make the efforts to not only prepare mentally and emotionally but you also want to prepare physically too. If you emotionally ate to deal with your break up, take 15 to 20 minutes each day to exercise. If your smile isn’t as pretty as it could be, consider braces to straighten your smile.
That’s not saying that you have to go to extreme measures just to look good for a date but those self-improvement suggestions are things that will not only make you look good but they also contribute to your overall health as well, and it’s known that when you look good, you feel good.
Loving yourself might sound like something that should come off as common sense to some people but you’d be surprised at how many people don’t realize the importance of self-love. Medical News Today states that self-love is one of the key factors in lowering depression, and anxiety and that not expressing this to yourself can lead to the mindset of perfectionism, which is very toxic to your mental health.
Showing yourself self-love can come in many forms but ideally, it’s a mentality you have towards yourself. You have to love yourself before you can love someone else; your mental and emotional space just can’t handle it otherwise. Tell yourself every day that you love yourself and it will eventually sink in.
Be Real With Yourself and True to Yourself
In the world of dating, you have to be real and true to yourself. Everyone you date probably won’t have the same intentions as you and it’s important to accept that up front. Establish within yourself what you want from dating and stick with it; don’t let someone else’s needs and wants in dating sway what you want. Don’t settle for less; keep dating until you find someone who wants the same thing as you.