What’s a foster girlfriend? The youths are gabbing all about it on Tik Tok. But for those readers who aren’t up with Gen Z’s lingo, Kaley and I devoted an entire episode to this term and its implications. As always, you’ll have to listen to our podcast for all the details, but here are some highlights to whet your appetite.
Foster Girlfriends Can Be Defined As…
The definition of a foster girlfriend is pretty straight forward: in hetero relationships, she’s the lady guys use for companionship before settling down with someone else. A foster girlfriend is different from a regular old failed relationship, because the dude in question knows he’ll never truly commit to this relationship. But he’s not forthcoming about this fact. Obviously, using unsuspecting women for sex and emotional labor is gross. That’s why Gen Z is raising awareness about this egregious practice. Can someone please give this generation a Nobel
Peace Prize already?
There Are Key Signs You’re A Foster Girlfriend
How do you know you’re a foster girlfriend instead of a forever home? There are some tell-tale signs. For example, if a partner isn’t introducing you to his friends and family and discussing the future with you, he could be using you. This doesn’t mean you should automatically break up with a guy who hasn’t introduced you to his besties after a few months. However, we would recommend asking when you’ll meet them. Knowledge is power!
Pop Culture is Rife With Foster Girlfriends
The term foster girlfriend may be new, but the concept isn’t. Pop culture is chalk full of examples! Think of Elle Woods in Legally Blonde, who is used by her horrible boyfriend Warner. For those who’ve never seen this classic film (By the way, if you haven’t seen Legally Blonde, what are you doing with your life?), Warner is a frat guy who likes Elle because she’s fun and sexy. And yet he intends to dump her for a more “appropriate” partner before starting law school. Carrie was also a foster girlfriend to Mr. Big on several seasons of Sex and The City. Basically, any girl anyone ever dated on Entourage fits into this category, too (By the way, don’t rewatch Entourage. It does NOT hold up well).
It’s Not Your Fault You’re a Foster Girlfriend
If you are/have ever been a foster girlfriend, it’s not your fault. Women are socialized to be accommodating, to give and give in relationships without asking for much in return. We’re told it’s a “turn off” to demand conversation about “where things are going,” and it’s easy for an unscrupulous man to take advantage of that. Having said all this, we want you to love yourself enough not to settle. If you want a serious relationship in the future, don’t be afraid to move on!