When did making a phone call to check-in become a thing of the past? When did written word become something of stories from days of old? Is anyone still holding the door and saying please and thank you?
Whatever happened to the rules of dating?
It seems as though in the days of technology and all the options of who to date, where to go, and what to do, we seem to have let go of some of the things that made a person feel special, when we could see that someone cared, that they were paying attention, that they had a genuine interest in getting to know someone on a real level.
So what are the rules to dating? We asked around and here is what we found:
- Be Courteous. When it comes to being a good date, being courteous finds its way to the top of the list for most people. This includes being on time for a date, being respectful to not only the person you are out with but also the people around you during the date (aka being kind to your server) and just generally being considerate.
- Leave your phone in your pocket. These days many of us appear to be much more invested in what is happening where we aren’t than in being present where we are. That becomes a big problem when you aren’t paying the attention that is reserved for someone who has taken the time out of their day to spend with you. It’s a pretty easy solution, just leave your phone in your pocket.
- Don’t talk about your ex. On a first date or in the early stages of getting to know someone it never helps to talk about your ex or the ups and downs or your previous relationships. That’s not to say you have to pretend that you have never dated anyone and have a perfect past, but the person now getting to know you probably doesn’t want to know anything, at least for now.
- Make it about getting to know them and less about you. Grilling someone on a date is never a good idea, it can just make both parties feel uncomfortable and that’s not going to lead to anywhere good. There are lots of fun and casual ways to learn about someone without making it feel like an interview. It also gives you the chance to share things about yourself so you can find more things in common or better yet, more to talk about.
- Be Yourself. Pretending to be something you are not it never a good idea. By being yourself and being comfortable with that, the right person will be drawn in by that and the confidence that goes along with it.
- Look your best. As much as we want to pretend that first impressions don’t matter, they do. The reality is that when going on a date, a little more effort into looking, smelling, and feeling your best not only helps you put your best foot forward, it also shows the other person that you were willing to put the effort in when seeing them, and just that can go a long way.
Reading this list you may have thought: Isn’t this all common sense? My response would be, You’d think so, but apparently not, and I’m sure we all have the stories to prove it.
So pass this around, let people know, that we are ready for better, ready for the bad dates to end, and ready for the dating horror stories to be a thing of the past.
Here’s to hoping!