It probably goes without saying that most of us want to be with someone that treats us right, is respectful, and takes our feelings into consideration. So why does it seem like there are less and less Good Guys out there theses days?
As a gay man myself, I hate to say it but the pool of good guys on my side, and in the straight side seems to be dwindeling down by the hour, as we appear to be living in a world of not only disposable products and ideas, but also disposable relationships. So where have all the good guys gone and really what makes a good guy?
When it comes to respect the first thing that I think of is honesty. If you claim to truly care about someone you have already made the decision to treat them how you would wish to be treated or they wish to be treated, and that starts with honesty and communication. This means not keeping secrets, feeding BS, or just blatently neglecting to tell the other person important things that could affect them. And whether you stay together or break up, having respect for someone you claimed to love doesn’t include trying to ruin them or find revenge after the fact.
Be true to you
In my mind, part of being a good guy is being yourself. Pretending to be someone else and then slowly changing over to who you really is never going to end well for a relationship. When you have been sweet and caring at the beginning and then turn into a dick it’s just not fair to anyone in the relationship. You should always be yourself whether you’re single or with someone, and for the other person, well if they have half a brain they will walk away.
Now when I say “be generous” I don’t mean lavish the person with gifts, I’m more refering to energy and time. For all the healthy relationships I have seen in my life, including my parents that are about to hit 45 happy years together, part of the key to their years of happiness is that they have both continued to put in effort to make each other feel special pretty much on the daily. This could be the smallest things, like my dad making my mum a cup of tea, to flowers picked from the garden. Grand gestures can be great, but sometimes the small things that are what mean the most.
So there are my thoughts on the good guy, and let me just say that there are good men out there, and if you are reading this I hope you are with one, or better yet, are one. If not, well maybe you have some work to do, or at least to think about…..until next time Addicts.