When you buy a new car, new phone, or a new pair of shoes, things are always shiny and new. When you first unwrap them, when you first bring them home or take them for a spin they seem almost perfect but inevitably after some time passes the lose their luster, their shine, they are no longer new and some of the initial excitement has died.
That is pretty much the story of most relationships that I have been in over my life.
First, from a distance they look so great, and even up close at the beginning everything is so fresh, so new, which means the possibilities are endless.
A few weeks or months passed and you sent that new item or even worse the item malfunctions.
If you are me when this happens you are ready to return this less than adequate people just like I would the device or product.
If you are lucky the product or new relationship doesn’t “break” or go tits up right from the get go and you get a few months of smooth sailing, as it should be with any relationships.
But now a days are we too quite to return and run? Do we expect that things will stay shiny and new forever, are we rest to buy a refurbished item, or once something needs some attention do we now days cut and exchange or even just dump it out
Are we just looking for the shiny new or are we prepared to make repairs
Here is what I have realized over my 30’s: I like everyone else am far from perfect, and thus, I am damaged goods, we all are, which means that I may be shiny and new at a distance but about 5 minutes into knowing me you’ll see I’m damaged.
Does this make me undateable? No, but it does mean that the next person/people that I date will have to quickly moe past that fact that really
Nothing is shiny and new.
And what does this mean, well it means that instead of just being into the idea of the person and declaring my love after 5 minutes I and they should take the time to really get to know each other.
By being open about wants, needs, goals and dreams and right from the beginning clearly being oneself is where a good relationship starts.
The ultimate goal: something real, something true, something that adds to your happiness.
Shiny and new never really equals happy, all it really brings is instant gratification and we all know that is fleeting but as they say, true love, real love, is not.