When we love someone, and then we break up, where does the love go?
You meet someone, fall in love, for months, years, decades that love burns strong, and then, someone realizes that the fire has gone out, and maybe that the love is gone? ut where does it
Where does it go?
Is love like and on off switch, you just fall in love as easy as you fall out of love, and it just comes and goes.
So when you love someone, have build a life with them, spend night after night sleeping next to them and through all of that claim that you love the person, does that love still stay after you break up, or do we just tell ourselves that the love is gone when really it’s not, or is love something that moves from one person to another as we change relationships.
If you think about life in terms of the “monkey circle”, that would probably explain what really happens.
The idea of “monkey circle” is based on the premise that you can only really truly care about a handful of people, for most of us, about 10-15 people in your life that you would do anything for. Mom, dad, siblings, partner, best friends etc.
So, when you are dating someone, they become the person closest to you in the circle, but as the relationships fades and they leave the inner circle and after years can no longer be seen from inside your circle, the vision of them, and the daily reminder does too.
So is the love really gone?
No. In fact, it’s shown in studies of human memory that we hold on to the moments of love, and pain for most of our lives, meaning that maybe, love never dies, maybe we just find a way to push it out of the circle as a form of self-preservation.
So is it the best way of then protecting ourselves?
If the love is still there, but the relationship didn’t work out, wouldn’t it makes sense to keep someone around that had a mostly positive effect on your life? Well some of us manage to do that, but most, most do not.
Now we aren’t talking about all those bad relationships where someone broke the love. There are a fair number of those where someone makes the active choice to break the love. ie: cheating, abuse and so on.
So, love can be brushed aside, pushed away, but never erased from memory, so not matter what you choose to do with the love coming in, or going out of your life, one fact remains to be true, it doesn’t really matter where the love goes, as long as you are opened to welcoming it back.