Addicted to Love? Misconceptions of the single girl
Thanks to television, movies, and people generally being ignorant, there are some misconceptions that if you’re single, especially if you’re female, that something’s wrong or missing re: your life, or worse, with you. I thought I’d educate the world at large, with some input from some other single ladies, about some of those strange thoughts that people seem to have about the single gal about town.
I want your man
Listen muffin, just because my eyes happen to glance in the direction of your honey doesn’t mean I’m ready to drop kick you and make him mine. There’s no need to be on high alert for man thievery every time a new vagina walks into the room. I mean if you’re man is hot then you may have to tolerate an appraising glance or two, but if anything you should take that as a fellow lady’s mad respect and approval re: your taste and style. But most ladies have enough pride to keep it at that, and the key word respect. Respect for you, respect for themselves, respect for your relationship. So don’t let a gal’s single status turn her into an automatic enemy. If anything you should high five a fellow strong lady, clink your drinks and go on being your fabulous selves. And to the ladies that unfortunately can’t step up to that higher moral ground, I say to you; put on higher heels, or stay on down there with your dude. He’s too lame to hang with us anything.
I have cats because I’m lonely
This one is an oldie but a goodie. While I’m sure there are women out there who assuage their loneliness through animal companionship, cat owning ladies aren’t the sad sacks people like to make them out to be. Some women GASP just like animals! I actually foster rescued cats because, ya know, I’d like to do my part for animals, and I am not responsible enough for a dog. Cats are like furry houseplants, they pretty much look after themselves so they’re perfect for a degenerate frat boy like myself.
I’m desperate to be with someone
I place the blame for this one squarely on some of the other single gals out there. I’ve known enough women who have been spooked enough by the single girl stereotype that they turn into legit crazy people when it comes to locking a bro down. I’m talking obsessive, bunny boiling stalker levels of cray. Personally, I do not have the time or the energy for that level of insanity. While I admire a psycho single gal for her tenacity, I’m generally with the rest of the female population, just living my life, working, having fun where I can. That doesn’t mean I DON’T want to find someone, I totally would. It’s just not my all-consuming reason for existing. The cats already hold that title.
I party because I’m sad
Ya, I totally go out and get wasted every weekend because I’d rather be drunk then home alone. And I’m taking wasted, right? Like that’s a thing sad single girls do (I mean, the term white girl wasted has to come from somewhere). They must be going out and getting black out every time they leave the house for a social outing. Right? RIGHT?
Listen guys. Just because a lady is single, and she likes to hit the town, doesn’t mean that she’s getting wrecked every time. Regardless of a lady’s relationship status, everyone generally enjoys an night on the town, enjoying some nice cocktails among good company. That being said, if a gal does go out to indulge, don’t judge her just because she’s single. Your man/woman will drive you to drink at some point anyway and it’s always good to have a drinking buddy who can handle her booze by your side.
My biological clock is ticking
Not this gal. When they were handing out bio clocks I was in the alcohol tolerance line getting a double dose.
Don’t get me wrong, I would love to find an amazing man to share my life with, but that’s not my be all and end all. I hope to lead a fruitful and fun existence no matter what my marital status is. If anything, I consider finding love the gravy on an already delicious life order of fries, but, ya know, fries can be delicious on their own, or maybe with some casual relationship ketchup. But if I can get a side of lifelong love gravy with my fries, I’d be happy to. The point of my now meandering French fry metaphor is, life should already be great, and love should only make it better, and that goes for all of us out there. So don’t judge those who haven’t found their loves yet. Just invite them out for some drinks, ask them where the cool new hotspots are, and embrace your single girlfriends for the awesome people that they are.