I’m going to just put it out there. I have never been more lost when it comes to dating than I am today. But why you ask, here’s the deal.
Does anyone know what they want anymore, or we all just constantly spiralling out of control. Once upon a time, I knew what I wanted, and what that looked like in my life, and what characteristic my partner need to have all the good stuff, but at a certain point I started to loose hope and turned my brain on auto pilot.
and I am not alone.
I admit it. I have bounced around without making a real connection or commitment or both now going on about 7 years. The reason, well, there are probably a few but what my initial problem was that I felt like I couldn’t make a genuine connection with anyone, I thought that it seemed that everything revolved around sex, and it seemed like there were a lot of people that just generally liked to talk shit and I never wanted any part of that.
I’m not looking for something that looks good on the surface or pretending to be something that I am not. I’m weird, I work a lot, I’m very high energy and I know that I at times am probably a lot to deal with, but I have passion, and I try my best to be a good man.,
So why have I found it so hard:
- Apps have allowed people to be shitty as they want to be and don’t have to do it to your face.
- A lot of people seem to be more interested in the person that you are online that the person you actually are in life.
- With all the connections and choices it seems that a lot of people are always chasing “greener pastures”
- We have become far too obsessed with sex and the idea that everything needs to have a sexual undertone, chill already
- We, myself included have all become way too self-obsessed.
So what do we do to change these things? Well for me, by writing this helps to start a conversation with one’s self to try better, try harder. It makes you think about the way you wish to be treated and how you should use that when interacting with others, and I think we all need to be ok with the fact the not everyone is A. goig to be interested, B. Not everything is going to work out and sometimes you just won’t know why.
The biggest thing I’ve really tried to apply to my life is to really just treat people the way I wish to be treated, and to try my best, to be honest about my intentions as I know them.
The reality is that we can all do better, and I include myself in that statement. We need to get back to thinking more as a community of we, and not a solo mission of I, that way the journey to finding someone will be that much less rocky and even more enjoyable as you find your way to someone to build a life with.
Cause isn’t that what we all want at the end of the day, to just find someone awesome to spend our time with.