Dating can be divided into two schools of thought: good ideas and bad ideas. It’s really that simple, but the line between a good idea and a bad idea is extremely thin. We all tend to make mistakes once in a while, but could that be because there’s no black and white outline for us to refer to? Next time you’re unclear as to whether or not that guy is a total fuckboy, or if that text will make you seem insane, simply refer to this comprehensive guide. You’re welcome.
GOOD IDEA: Updating your significant other on your day.
BAD IDEA: Demanding updates every hour on the hour, despite already knowing where they are and what they’re doing.
GOOD IDEA: Posting a picture of the two of you on vacation.
BAD IDEA: Posting a constant barrage of mushy status updates and photos of every meal you’ve ever had together until you’ve been unfollowed by every person you’ve ever known.
GOOD IDEA: Getting a pet together.
BAD IDEA: Getting a pet together and treat it like an actual human child, complete with outfits, baby talk, and a customized bed.
GOOD IDEA: Dating a good-looking, funny, all around excellent guy.
BAD IDEA: Continuing to obsess over said guy once he’s started ignoring you, told you he’s not interested, started dating someone else, discovered his true sexuality and ultimately transitions into a woman. It’s probably not going to happen for you two.
GOOD IDEA: Casually following up on a text that a person genuinely may have missed.
BAD IDEA: Triple texting, 6 unanswered phone calls, 2 angry voicemails and 1 incredibly passive aggressive tweet and/or Facebook status update.
GOOD IDEA: Calmly and diplomatically letting someone know you’re not interested.
BAD IDEA: Ignoring someone so aggressively that you can’t even look them in the eye when you happen to bump into each other, until you’re pretty positive you’re going to make a brief appearance in their suicide note.
GOOD IDEA: Having a drink or two on a date to loosen your nerves.
BAD IDEA: Downing half a bottle of bourbon, followed by 4 Jager bombs until you two become exquisitely acquainted with the bathroom of the bar while he begrudgingly holds your hair back as you vomit up the lining of your stomach.
GOOD IDEA: Letting a situation slowly blossom into a legitimate relationship.
BAD IDEA: Worrying about labels so insanely that you make each other sick with anxiety and ultimately self-sabotage what would have been a great relationship into a daunting task that you’ve both come to hate.
GOOD IDEA: Getting married and having children.
BAD IDEA: Getting married and having children.