Addicted To Love: Female Camaraderie

If there’s one thing girls all have in common, it’s that we are insanely more judgemental towards other girls than we are towards guys. It’s sadly all too natural for us gals to feel like life is one big competition and every other female present plays for some enemy team. That’s especially true when guys are involved, when in reality that’s not really the case. As a group I think we ladies need to band together to have one another’s backs.

When you like a guy and he ends up with another girl, we tend to direct our anger towards her instead of him. We screen capture their Instagram feed and send it to our friends during a late night lurking shame spiral, going 76 weeks deep to try and pin point the exact moment he must have met her. We tear apart her selfies and compare her every feature to our own in an attempt to determine what it is that she has that we don’t. There must be some quantifiable, objective reason why he chose her over you, right? She must have been chasing after him, even though he was clearly meant to end up with you.

Think about every time you’ve hung out with a guy you like in a group setting, and chances are you can remember sizing up every other girl there, perceiving them as a threat. Who does she think she is, fawning over him like that? Meanwhile, she’s actually just asking him where the salt is for tequila shots. Think about all the time you’ve spent hating on a girl who, frankly, you would probably get along with really well. She’s not your enemy. She probably has nothing against you, but the death glares you’re shooting at her may make her wonder what she’s done to earn your ire. Chances are you’ve been in the exact same position, getting shade thrown at you by a girl you’ve never met, for a crime you don’t even know you’ve commited; the crime of proximity to the object of her desire.

We never trust our instincts when it comes to guys, letting them pull the same shit on us over and over again. Yet when he starts dating a new girl, we automatically assume the worst of her. We give the benefit of the doubt to the guys who treat us like garbage, but don’t give the same courtesy to our fellow vaginal comrades. We deal with enough shit from guys, so at the very least we should have each other’s backs. So next time a guy dumps you for another girl, don’t hate the other girl. She’s trying to be happy, just like everybody else.

So ladies out there, be nicer to each other, compliment each other, support each other, and most of all, cut each other some slack. We’re all just trying to make it in this crazy world, and we’d do that a lot better if we were just a little kinder to each other.

Alex Payne

Alex Payne

Contributor at Addicted
Alex Payne is a writer/editor/blogger living in Toronto, and a complete pop culture junkie, writing about music, dating, and whatever else she wants to rant about. She's obsessed with cupcakes, Kate Spade and The Simpsons. Oh, and vodka.
Alex Payne