What is love? It seems as though I have a very different idea of what love is from some of the people I see around me.
To me love is giving someone all of you, to caring about their happiness, and working together to achieve better than you could alone. Love is taking a journey with someone who you look at with adoring eyes.
Love isn’t usually convenient, it’s not something that sweeps you away from reality or saves you from a lonely life.
So, this then poses the question: when did people quite literally start banking on Love?
What do I mean by that? Well, I keep seeing people around me in life, “falling in Love” when it seems they need it most. Whether it’s because they are lonely, or “the clock is ticking” or they are broke and need money, why not just call that what it really is? It’s not love, but a bailout.
Why pretend it’s love? Well, it seems that we can, in fact, convince ourselves of just about anything. Trust me, as a former drug addict, I know all too well the power of your own thoughts and how they can convince you of just about anything, especially when you are in need of something.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure we have all wanted someone to take our loneliness away, make our money problems a thing of the past, or just want someone there to make us breakfast (I’m the latter). But none of those things add up to love.
Let’s take a big step back for a minute to the old adage “you can’t love someone till you love yourself.”
As someone who has now found this out the hard way 3 times in life, my previous relationships never worked out for one main reason, I wasn’t happy and I didn’t love myself.
So how in the world could I ever love someone else?
The reality is that in a full real way, I couldn’t. So how can all these other people do what I know they aren’t capable of doing? Well I guess there are two answers.
- Many have convinced themselves that they are in love, when in fact they are in need, or many different things depending on the person
- We have been taught the everyone deserves to be loved, and that love is this transcending power that overtakes us.
That’s BS. Love is hard work, love is compromise, love is a journey and a choice, and it’s can all be truly amazing if you are good enough to yourself to take the time and make sure you are whole, that you are loved by you, and for you.
At the end of the day, two halves don’t make a whole, but two whole people make for quite the adventure, done the right way.