Remember when you were a child and you ate animal crackers? There were so many fun animals to choose from, you could pretend you were on safari. And now, if you live in the modern gay world, you can do the same.
Apparently being gay isn’t enough anymore. We have collectively lost the plot and now are all supposed to be sorted into sub groups by our animal titles and to be honest, I think the whole gay world has gone crackers.
You can be a bear (beefy, hairy maybe even a little husky) or an otter (the pre-stages of a bear). I’ve also heard of people refer to themselves as a wolf, and this doesn’t even touch on the twinks, daddies, leather daddies, Poz, guy next door, or plethora of other strange classifications we seem to feel the need to apply to ourselves.
So their are 2 questions that I just have to ask.
- Who the hell has all this free time to even spend a moment thinking about this?
- Why as a gay culture are we so obsessed with defining and then judging?
Let’s touch on the first question. The answer, Apparently a lot of people. I can’t go a day with out someone saying bear, daddy and they aren’t refering to a bear in the wild or their platonic father. Honestly as someone who runs several business a lot of days I don’t even know my own name, let alone what group that I fit into, and really, what does it even matter.
I’ve said it before and apparently will need to keep saying it over and over again in my life. I am Mark, I am human, the rest need not be defined or is clearly obvious, like the fact that I’m male, or have brown hair. Anything outside of that need not be defined for you to like me or not, for you to understand me or not. My personality, my level of caring, my honesty and integrity matter, not whether I’m a wolf or a bear.
Next, why, oh why does it appear that gay culture is obsessed with labels? Is it that a lot of us felt left out in school and thus want to be part of some pre-fabricated non-existant club? Is it that we want to feel like we are part of something, or worst case is it that we need to be able to compartmentalize others to be able to understand or even judge them?
Really my hope is that it’s just all in good fun, but I fear that is not the case.
Constantly forcing these labels on ourselves and each other can cause issues that we may not be taking into consideration. Inherantly we all want to fit in, well most of us, and by creating these labels that shadow evenything that seems to take place in gay culture we are effectivly shunning anyone that doesn’t fit into one.
I myself feel like I don’t fit into any of the weird labels, I’m not a bear, I’m not a daddy and never will be, I’m not a twink and probably couldn’t claim I was for over a decade, so where does that leave me? If I had any F**ks to give about what people thought I would feel left out, but I don’t, but my concern is all the people that do.
Here is what this all comes down to; Just like I don’t want to be know as being gay, I also don’t want a label of otter or wolf, and this is what I will always come back to.
I am Mark, I’m a man, I am human, everything other then that needs no defining, and really I’m pretty open, so the rest you can get to know by putting your phone down, opening your mind, and having a real conversation with me.