I was chatting with a friend of mine the other day who in no malice way asked me “do you get lonely being alone?” That isn’t the first time I’ve been asked that and surely won’t be the last. My response was, of course, “not at all, I have a great life, amazing friends, a wonderful family and a super career that I love, how in the world could I ever feel lonely?”
How is it that in 2016 that we still have this idea in our heads that to be alone, aka not in a relationship, is to be lonely?
Now I’m not going to start listing off the reasons as to why I’m not with someone because I’m sure there are many and really this isn’t supposed to be all about me. It’s more that we, as a society, need to start thinking in terms of self fulfilment, whatever that may be for you, and less about what the pre-existing norms are in life that we have created.
Having an “other half” isn’t going to take my life from meaningless to meaningful. It won’t take me from being unhappy to skipping through the streets with delight, or make the sun shine on rainy days.
Happiness, for me, comes from within, and on the same token, if I have made the active choice to surround myself with amazing, supportive, wonderful people, and I am fulfilled by my life and my work, then why would I ever have feelings of loneliness?
Don’t get me wrong, whether we are with someone or not, we all have moments where we might feel alone or have lost our way a bit. But at the end of the day we are meant to feel our emotions and embrace them, then deal with the feelings they may bring, and the reason why, and move on.
It’s our decision to be happy with what we do have, and in some cases work for what we still want or at least be open to it coming to us. This life is far to short to focus on what you don’t have. So many of us we are surrounded by endless opportunity and the freedom to do almost anything with that. And that is something to be celebrated.
The point to all this, well, is that really it’s easy math: Alone, never = Lonely. That’s a choice we make, and I choose to be alone, never lonely, and happy.