Addicted to Love? How to Stay Positive after Rejection

One of the most irksome aspects of dating is unfortunately also one of the most inevitable ones; rejection.

These days one of the most effective ways of meeting potential partners is through online or app dating . And rejection can be just as much a part of online dating as well as the more traditional kind. And that can actually be a positive; if rejection can literally happen to anyone, why are we all so afraid of it? So we thought we’d help the singles of the world out with this guide on how to stay positive through the rejection.

Tip #1: Rejection Is Subjective

Never forget that rejection is a subjective response from a single individual that is not personal. It is a way someone out there sees you at this very moment, and for some reason you don’t seem to be a good fit for what they’re looking for. That doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong or that you’re not worthy of affection. It means there is someone out there for everyone, including someone for you. It just means you haven’t found them yet.

Tip #2: Rejection Can Help You Grow

Rejection can help you re-evaluate your behaviour and the way the world perceives you. Getting feedback, especially when it’s negative, can do wonders if you’re willing to take the necessary steps and apply it to what you’re doing. If you’re open to that constructive criticism, you’ll not only grow as a person, but you’ll increase your chances of not only finding a partner, but cultivating a strong and positive relationship as well.

Tip #3: Try a Different Approach

Trying a different approach means changing your tactics and finding another path to potential success. You can either wait for an opportunity to present itself or you can create your own path. If you like to be proactive and take matters into your own hands instead of dwelling on your past rejections you can go to your favorite coffee shop, perhaps finding an opportunity to chat with a fellow patron. You can try signing up on a different dating app or website, or even asking a friend to play matchmaker.

Tip #4: Take the Time to Reflect

Rejection offers you an opportunity to reflect on yourself and your actions. Your attempt to impress a fashion enthusiast with your collection of sports jerseys is probably doomed from the start. Rejection isn’t anything personal, but it does tell you that you need to evaluate what you’re doing. Going after the types of people that are unattainable for whatever reason doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you, but it definitely means you should stop doing it. Reflecting on your past mistakes can be a great way to learn, grow and pave a new path to success.

Tip #5: Talk to Your Friends

Talk to your trusted friends about rejection. They know you well and probably have some insight for you that you didn’t even think of. Plus, the mere fact that someone will listen to you venting about your problems is sure to help. You may see things in a different light or your friends may say something that will open your eyes and help you to correct your behaviour in the future. Your trusted friends will tell it to you straight and that may just be what you need. However, keep in mind that too much complaining will leave you depressed, and rightfully so. Do talk to people about your problems, but try not to dwell on rejection too much.

Tip #6: Don’t Lose Perspective

That girl/guy that rejected you may have seemed perfect for you, but they were not. And while being rejected by this person may sting, if he or she wasn’t a good match for you, chances are things wouldn’t have worked out anyway. This way you’re free to enjoy your life and meet someone special along the way. So when rejection gets you down, remember, there will be more opportunities for success down the road no matter how gloomy things may seem at this very moment.

 

Find a way to constructively deal with rejection, and seek professional help if you can’t do it on your own. Don’t forget that just because someone said no to you doesn’t mean they don’t think highly of you. On the contrary, you just may not be the kind a fit they’re looking for right now. Stay optimistic yet realistic, and believe in yourself.

Nadia Elkharadly

Nadia Elkharadly

Nadia Elkharadly is a Toronto based writer with a serious addiction to music. Corporate drone by day, renegade rocker by night, writing is her creative outlet. Nadia has written for the Examiner (.com) on live music in Toronto and Indie Music in Canada, and was a weekly columnist for Don't Believe a Word I Say. She has never been in a band but plays an awesome air guitar and also the tambourine. Nadia is the co-founder, Managing Editor and resident Music lover (and editor) for Addicted.
Nadia Elkharadly
Nadia Elkharadly

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